Monday, February 4, 2008

The Holy Trinity of Embarrassment

Ecstasy is the only word to describe the feeling any football fan outside of the Northeast felt. The 18-0 Patriots LOST. It felt like it would never happen. The team that was caught cheating, has a smug head coach, has numerous cheap players, and a thug as a star wide receiver LOST! If the 1999 Yankees were the Evil Empire, what are the Patriots? I would say that they are the Sith, led by Emperor Belichick himself.

If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed!

So I mentioned the trilogy. Here it is. The Patriots never look ahead of everything. That's why they didn't make a book or patent anything. Oh wait.

Way to go Patriots. I see you took the one game at a time policy to heart. That's embarrassing. The father of all embarrassments.

Well, it can't get worse. I mean, their star QB didn't laugh at the thought of them scoring 17 points? Oh wait.

"We're only going to score 17 points? Hahahaha!" Hey Brady, you only scored 14 points. Hahahaha! Son of all embarrassments.

Well, I mean, it's not like they were going to break a big record anyways. They were just a normal team. No shame in losing. Oh wait.

18-1. So they are the best team NOT to win the Super Bowl. The Sith were the worst team not to win the Rebel War (nerd!). 19-0 is just a dream. It will never be accomplished, and this just proved it. Perfection is impossible. The Patriots will be forgotten. They are just a ghost.

The trinity of embarrassment. In the name of the book, and of the laughing, and of the holy loss.

And I know I was rough on Belichick comparing him to Palpatine, so I already have your response in video form.