Gridiron News: May 14th

I'm pretty bored right now, so I will just talk about the teams who aren't the Colts.

~Spygate is coming to an end. Of course, Arlen Spector is trying his hardest to keep it alive. Way to go Pennsylvania. You couldn't elect a person who cared more about the government than football. I'm disappointed that there are no more punishments, and it really shows the weakness of Roger Goodell. They lose 1 million dollars and 1 first round pick for taping one game, but then when dozens more come including offensive signals and a playoff game, nothing more happens. I would definitely take 3 Super Bowl rings for just a loss of a first rounder and a million dollars. Belichick and the Patriots will end up getting the Barry Bonds treatment with the acknowledgment that their Super Bowl championships are tainted.

~Kenny Wright was cut by the Browns for his arrest last month. There was a disturbance and the police were called. When the cops came to confront Wright, he ran away. The police found an ounce of Mary Jane is his car as well. I don't think he would have been cut if he didn't run away like a wimp. Why would you do that? The police will catch you. This isn't the south in the 60s with moonshine. You can't get away. The NFL is gaining the thug league moniker the NBA has received from the fans and media.

~Terrell Suggs and the Ravens have gotten into a dispute with his franchise tag. The Ravens tagged him as a linebacker, but he wanted the defensive end tag, which earns almost 1 million dollars more. Suggs is a hybird defensive end/outside linebacker. I think it may be time to make that its own position and give it its own tag. This is going to be a frustrating ordeal for the Ravens and Suggs.

There you go. PCS's first Gridiron News.

Early Colts Schedule Outlook

The schedules were released a few days ago, and I'm here to talk about the Colts' schedule. I can sum it up in one word: KILLER. It sucks when you are in a division with 3 other teams that actually can contend. It doesn't help that they are playing the AFC North, who has Pittsburgh and Cleveland. Good thing Favre retired, or else we could feasibly be playing 5 teams that could win Super Bowl XLIII. Here's the schedule*, and which games I think are guaranteed wins and what games the Colts will have to play their best to win.

1
9/7
CHICAGO BEARS
8:15 PM
NBC
2
9/14
@ Minnesota Vikings
1:00 PM
CBS
3
9/21
JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
4:15 PM
CBS
4
9/28
BYE
-
none
5
10/5
@ Houston Texans
1:00 PM
CBS
6
10/12
BALTIMORE RAVENS
1:00 PM
CBS
7
10/19
@ Green Bay Packers
4:15 PM
CBS
8
10/27
@ Tennessee Titans
8:30 PM
ESPN
9
11/2
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
8:15 PM
NBC
10
11/9
@ Pittsburgh Steelers
4:15 PM
CBS
11
11/16
HOUSTON TEXANS
1:00 PM
CBS
12
11/23
@ San Diego Chargers
8:15 PM
NBC
13
11/30
@ Cleveland Browns
1:00 PM
CBS
14
12/7
CINCINNATI BENGALS
1:00 PM
CBS
15
12/14
DETROIT LIONS
1:00 PM
FOX
16
12/18
@ Jacksonville Jaguars
8:15 PM
NFL Network
17
12/28
TENNESSEE TITANS
1:00 PM
CBS

Guaranteed Wins
v. Chicago Bears, v. Houston Texans, v. Detroit Lions, v. Cincinnati Bengals, v. Baltimore Ravens, @ Houston Texans, @ Green Bay Packers

The schedule is so tough, I can only find seven games right now that don't worry me at all. The Bears, Lions, Bengals, and Ravens are going to be cellar-dwellers in their divisions. The Packers are too one-dimensional, and the Texans can't beat the Colts.

Probable Wins
@ Minnesota Vikings, @ Tennessee Titans, v. Jacksonville Jaguars.

The Colts are near unbeatable at home in the regular season, and it will be interesting to see if there will be any differences with the move to Lucas Oil Stadium or "The Lube" as it is called. That's why I think the Jags are NOT going to beat the Colts at home. The Titans and Vikings could beat the Colts, but I wouldn't bet on it.

Will Be Close, but the Colts are going to be favored
@ Pittsburgh Steelers, @ Cleveland Browns, v. Tennessee Titans.

The Titans game is only up here is because of the chances that the starters won't be playing after the first quarter. The Browns and Steelers will be tough, but I don't see the games being blowouts either way.

Bring Your A Game, Colts
v. New England Patriots, @ Jacksonville Jaguars, @ San Diego Chargers.

Versus the Chargers-REVENGE! Versus the Patriots-Sort of revenge, but I want to crush them regardless of previous outcomes. Versus the Jaguars-This. Is. Our. Division.

My Prediction: 13-3. I see the Colts beating every team on the schedule besides the road game against Jacksonville, the Titans home game, and the Browns game. The Browns are looking for revenge, the Jags are going to be great, and the Titans will be playing the scrubs. The Colts will be the number two seed in the AFC behind the Patriots. This year, however, they will go all the way.

*Courtesy of Colts.com

The Holy Trinity of Embarrassment

Ecstasy is the only word to describe the feeling any football fan outside of the Northeast felt. The 18-0 Patriots LOST. It felt like it would never happen. The team that was caught cheating, has a smug head coach, has numerous cheap players, and a thug as a star wide receiver LOST! If the 1999 Yankees were the Evil Empire, what are the Patriots? I would say that they are the Sith, led by Emperor Belichick himself.

If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed!


So I mentioned the trilogy. Here it is. The Patriots never look ahead of everything. That's why they didn't make a book or patent anything. Oh wait.

Way to go Patriots. I see you took the one game at a time policy to heart. That's embarrassing. The father of all embarrassments.

Well, it can't get worse. I mean, their star QB didn't laugh at the thought of them scoring 17 points? Oh wait.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=kJ2yK5C9Ae4

"We're only going to score 17 points? Hahahaha!" Hey Brady, you only scored 14 points. Hahahaha! Son of all embarrassments.

Well, I mean, it's not like they were going to break a big record anyways. They were just a normal team. No shame in losing. Oh wait.



18-1. So they are the best team NOT to win the Super Bowl. The Sith were the worst team not to win the Rebel War (nerd!). 19-0 is just a dream. It will never be accomplished, and this just proved it. Perfection is impossible. The Patriots will be forgotten. They are just a ghost.

The trinity of embarrassment. In the name of the book, and of the laughing, and of the holy loss.

And I know I was rough on Belichick comparing him to Palpatine, so I already have your response in video form.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UFfobQftP5k

18-1

C'mon-Everyone's Doing It!

The Super Bowl is coming up, tomorrow in fact, and everyone has to make a prediction. Even people who don't watch football pick this game. You can gamble on everything from the coin toss to the halftime show. I haven't had an NFL blog in a while--mostly due to post-losing depression--so I felt like I need a short, sweet, and to the point prediction.

Here is the score. You can take this to Vegas, because if I'm good at one thing, it's picking games. 24-23 Giants. Stephen Gostkowski will miss a game-winning field goal off of the crossbar, and Adam Vinatieri will then fly to Glendale, and kick a field goal from the same exact spot, making it easily. All non-Patriots fans will all cheer until they go hoarse, for the Evil Empire of the NFL will have fallen short.

Stats
Eli Manning throws 1 touchdown pass to Plaxico Burress on a 58 yard go route in the third quarter, and he throws one interception which is picked off by Adalius Thomas and returned to the Giants' 35. He throws for 234 yards while going 19 for 34.

Brandon Jacobs has a career day with a 124 yards on 18 carries and 2 touchdowns.

Ahmad Bradshaw comes in late in the game to burn some clock, getting 24 yards on 9 carries.

Plaxico Burress has the touchdown catch along with eight other catches for 108 yards. Most of them are compiled on slants and drags.

Amani Toomer, Ahmad Bradshaw, Brandon Jacobs, David Tyree, and Sinorice Moss catch the other 11.

Justin Tuck leads the Giants with 2 sacks. Antonio Pierce has 11 tackles with 2.5 for a loss. Gibril Wilson will have an interception. Osi Umenyiora will force and recover a Laurence Maroney fumble.

Tom Brady will throw an amazing 53 passes for 379 yards, completing 41 of them. He will throw for 2 touchdowns and 1 interception.

Laurence Maroney will run the ball 10 times for 47 yards. Heath Evans will run it twice for 5 yards, both within the 10 yard line.

Randy Moss will have 3 catches for 61 yards, but no touchdowns.

Wes Welker will have 9 catches for 99 yards and a touchdown.

Kevin Faulk will have 15 catches for 51 yards and a touchdown.

Donte Stallworth will have 2 catches for 79 yards, 59 coming on a big first quarter pass.

Laurence Maroney, Heath Evans, Jabar Gaffney, Troy Brown, Ben Watson, and Kyle Brady will catch the rest.

Richard Seymour will have 8 tackles, leading the Pats. Adalius Thomas will have a pick and 2 sacks.

MVP: Eli Manning. Like XLI, the backs may have had a better game, but Manning will have led them to victory, shaving 9 of the 15 fourth quarter minutes off of the clock.

GOAT: Stephen Gostkowski. You can't miss a game-winning field goal.

If any of these, especially the score, come true, I will change this blog's name to Manlove for Manning. You can bet on it. You better.

Booing Or Beating: Which One's Worse?

Those classless Colts fans struck again. First they pump in sound to the stadium. Wait, I'm sorry. We used our black magic to mess with the CBS broadcast. We are so evil do it with every other broadcast on CBS. Don't forget we turned up the heat in the RCA Dome for the AFC Championship Game, which forced Tom Brady to throw that late interception. Now, we are booing 14 year old girls for wearing an opposing teams' jersey. Aren't we the worst?

Anna Grant, a 14-year-old girl from New Hampshire, won the Punt, Pass, and Kick contest and was being honored at the Colts game. When they got to calling her name, the Colts fans booed. She was so scarred by this that she started laughing. I am just shocked. Booing a rival's fan? That's crazy. I've never heard of that before. Colts fans should be ashamed. Booing is a mortal sin! The Patriots, of course, are perfect and would never do something like that.

They just cheap shot (props for Stampede Blue for referencing readers to this) opposing team's fans and relatives after the game.

Brian Wormstead, his friend, and his cousins (who are Jaguars fans) were leaving the Patriots-Jags game when they were approached by drunk Patriots fans. The fans were being annoying, or as I say, Patriot fans, and were told to make like a banana and split (pwnage). They then proceeded to beat the living daylight out of the fans.

Anna Grant is going to remember the intense booing by getting to flip the coin to start the game. Wormstead and his friends will remember this with their cuts and bruises.

So let me get this straight. Colts fans are terrible people for a friendly booing, and the Patriots fans who assaulted a woman get no mention in the media. That seems fair. Patriots fans seem certain that the Colts are classless for booing someone. In 2006, I went to the Georgia Tech-Notre Dame game in Atlanta, and my sister (10) and I were booed. Where's my story? Why aren't I flipping the coin for Notre Dame? I didn't care. I laughed. It was funny.

What did she expect going into a rival's stadium wearing a rival's shirt? A standing ovation and for us to bow down to her? No way, Jose. That's not how it works. It's booing, get over it. It didn't hurt anyone. She was fine.

The Patriots and Jaguars fans who were assaulted have gotten zilch. This is crazy. This happened on Patriots' property in a Gillette Stadium parking lot. How does booing become front page news on ESPN.com, while this is buried in the Boston Herald. Doesn't make any sense to me.

Speaking of classless

Here is video footage of a giant taunting from the Patriots. Peter Griffin is behind it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Q92uRlCpmk


This episode sucked. This was easily the funniest moment in it. I was watching this, and suddenly this becomes a musical. I had to check the TV Guide on my TV to see if I was watching Family Guy. Here's what I noticed.

~The refs have an endless amount flags. That's awesome.

~I like how all of the players besides Brady were dancing, but then when they get back to the locker room, they are all mad at Peter.

~Why is there a marching band? Do the Pats have a band? Why are there bands in the NFL?

~Where are the names on the back of the jersey?

~Peter is a pretty good singer for not being able to speak coherently.

~What is Shipoopi?

That's my blog. Remember fans. Don't boo. Assaulting is all right. Booing is crossed the line.

And He's the Defensive Player of the Year

Bob Sanders can do it all. He can play the run, he can play the pass, and he can beat the Flash and Superman in a footrace. Here is a montage of the ten best Bob Sanders facts circulating on the internet right now. Note that these are all 100% true. Everything said is true*



10. 70% of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Bob Sanders.



9. They once made a Bob Sanders edition of Clue, but they stopped selling it because the result was always the same. Bob Sanders in the secondary with a spear tackle.



8. Death once had a "Near Bob Sanders Experience".



7. Bob Sanders tackled the inner-city violence problem...for a four yard loss.



6. Bob Sanders' dreads are pound for pound the hardest and most durable substance on Earth, making him the only player in the NFL to wear a helmet for the other team's protection.



5. Bob Sanders let Tom Brady live because Bob doesn't kill women.



4. Bob Sanders knows the ending to the Sopranos, but he won't give away the ending. He did mention that Tony wouldn't be seen wearing a Patriots hat anytime soon.



3. When you rearrange the letters in Bob Sanders name, you find what he told Tony Dungy separates themselves from the rest of the league. "Badness Bro!"



2. Bob Sanders like his ice the same way he likes his New England Patriots: crushed.



1. Bob Sanders invented black. In fact, he invented the entire color spectrum of invisible light. Except pink. Tom Brady invented pink.



I know. You all are probably to busy "LOLing" to continue reading, but there is actual news to get to.



~Ben Utecht is questionable with a shoulder injury and T.J. Rushing is probable with an illness. Utecht needs to play. An H-back like him makes a huge difference in the passing game. Rushing playing would definitely help the return game. He has one kick return for a touchdown this season. However, on defense, he may never see the field. The Colts rarely use the dime package, and they won't against a team who runs a two back formation.



~On the other side of the field, Antonio Gates is doubtful with a dislocated toe, Lorenzo Neal is questionable with a broken fibula, Nate Kaeding is probable with a fibula injury, and Antonio Cromartie is probable with an illness. Gates will not play, and if he does, he will be very ineffective. Neal may play, but a blocker should have trouble coming back from a serious leg injury. Kaeding being injured sounds reminiscent of Adam Vinatieri's injury against the Chargers in Week 10. Cromartie's illness will be about as significant as the af2.



~The Indianapolis Star ran an article on Phillip Rivers' maturity. They are talking about his work ethic, but the big question is his behavior. We've all seen the taunting against Denver. A quarterback taunting is a joke. They can't even be touched, and now they are taunting opposing QBs? Maturity is definitely a problem, but not for the Colts.

~The Patriots and Jaguars play tonight on a game that can only be considered "win-win" for Colts fans. If the Jags and Colts win, the Colts will have one more game in the Dome against a team they have already topped two times this season. If the Pats and Colts win, the Colts can get revenge for a loss earlier in the season, and they get to end the perfect season.

I'd like to thank the guys who came up with the Bob Sanders facts. All of you are brilliant. We (or me) here at Pro-Colts Stuff love the facts. GO COLTS!

*All of the facts are in fact, false. Except for number 2. and 1. and 5.

Now, the Real Season Starts

The Colts are heading into their big playoff matchup against the San Diego Chargers. The Colts and Chargers did play in Week 10, but the situation is much different from that game. Here is what has changed over the past nine weeks.

~The Colts are not coming off of a tough game against New England Patriots. This time, the Colts have two weeks of rest.
~In this game, the Colts will have future Hall of Famer Marvin Harrison, touchdown machine Dallas Clark, rookie stud Tony Ugoh, veteran lineman Ryan Diem, quality run blocker Charlie Johnson, breakout linebackers Tyjuan Hagler and Freddie Keiaho, and defensive tackle Raheem Brock.
~Phillip Rivers' best target Antonio Gates will most likely miss the game, and even if he plays, he will not be at full strength.
~The Colts are now more prepared for Darren Sproles in the return game.
~This game happens to be in the RCA Dome, so the crowd is pro-Colts, and there will not be rain.

The Colts are in line to win this; however, you can't overlook any opponent. The 3-4 defense has had success against the Colts, especially in the playoffs. New England beat them in 2003 and 2004. Pittsburgh knocked them off in 2005. Last year, their closest game was against the Patriots. Now, they can reverse the pattern. All they have to do is win.

Starting Lineups

Colts
QB-Peyton Manning
RB-Joseph Addai
HB-Ben Utecht
WR-Reggie Wayne
WR-Marvin Harrison
TE-Dallas Clark
OT-Ryan Diem
OG-Jake Scott
C-Jeff Saturday
OG-Ryan Lilja
OT-Tony Ugoh

DE-Josh Thomas
DT-Ed Johnson
DT-Raheem Brock
DE-Robert Mathis
OLB-Tyjuan Hagler
MLB-Gary Brackett
OLB-Freddie Keiaho
CB-Kelvin Hayden
FS-Antoine Bethea
SS-Bob Sanders
CB-Marlin Jackson

K-Adam Vinatieri
P-Hunter Smith
LS-Justin Snow
H-Hunter Smith
RS-TJ Rushing

Chargers
QB-Phillip Rivers
RB-LaDanian Tomlinson
FB-Lorenzo Neal
WR-Vincent Jackson
WR-Chris Chambers
TE-Brandon Manumaleuna
OT-Marcus McNeill
OG-Kris Dielman
C-Nick Hardwick
OG-Mike Goff
OT-Jeromey Clary

DE-Luis Castillo
NT-Jamal Williams
DE-Igor Olshansky
OLB-Shawne Merriman
ILB-Matt Wilhelm
ILB-Stephen Cooper
OLB-Shaun Phillips
CB-Antonio Cromartie
FS-Marlon McCree
SS-Clinton Hart
CB-Quentin Jammer

K-Nate Kaeding
P-Mike Scrifes
LS-David Binn
H-Mike Scrifes
RS-Darren Sproles

The X-factors

Colts
Tony Ugoh, OT: Ugoh is in his first game against the 3-4 defense. In this scheme, he will be relied upon to stop the blitzing outside linebackers, in this case sack artists Shawne Merriman and Shaun Phillips. Ugoh is a very mobile offensive tackle, much more mobile than Michael Toudouze, the backup who played in Ugoh's place against the Chargers. If the linebackers cannot get consistent pressure on Peyton Manning, he will be able to find holes in the Chargers secondary.

Chargers
Chris Chambers, WR: The Chargers will not have Antonio Gates for this game. In my opinion, this shouldn't make a huge difference in the passing game. The Colts linebackers are fast enough to cover a tight end, and tight ends rarely have success against the Colts. However, the Colts are definitely going to focus on the run this game. There will be eight men in the box for almost the entire game trying to stop LaDanian Tomlinson. This means that Chris Chambers will have single coverage against Marlin Jackson. Chambers needs to get separation from Jackson and the Colts' secondary in general. Jackson, Sanders, Bethea, and Hayden are the hardest-hitting secondary in the league. If Chambers gets rattled, this could be a long day for the San Diego offense.

Key Matchups

When the Colts have the ball
Peyton Manning versus Antonio Cromartie: This is battle number two for the Pro Bowlers. Last time, Antonio Cromartie intercepted three passes, including a one-handed circus catch that is now a Youtube legend. Now, Peyton will have Marvin Harrison and Anthony Gonzalez. Cromartie will have to play lock down defense on Reggie Wayne to keep him out of the game. If Wayne gets going, this game will be O-V-E-R.

When the Chargers have the ball
Bob Sanders versus LaDanian Tomlinson: Did you know LaDanian Tomlinson wears a tinted mask so he never has to look Bob Sanders in the eyes? Not really, but yeah. This week, LT has to look him in the eyes, since he will be coming after him. Although his name is awesome, Brandon Manumaleuna does not command the safeties' attention. Sanders will pretty much be a fourth linebacker this week. If they can stop the run game, there will be no way the Super Chargers can move the ball.

Head-to-Head matchups

Colts pass offense versus Chargers pass defense: The Chargers have the advantage here. Even though I think Peyton will bounce back, the Chargers dominated him last time. I can't give the Colts the benefit of the doubt.

Colts run offense versus Chargers run defense: I will give it to the Colts. Joseph Addai has been injured all year. If these two weeks can heal him, then the Chargers are in trouble. The inside linebackers and safeties are just not good enough to stop the run.

Colts pass defense versus Chargers pass offense: Obviously, the Colts. The Colts pass defense is crazy good. It's the best in the league. The corners hit hard and aren't afraid to put themselves in danger for a big hit. The linebackers are very fast, and Gary Brackett is the best linebacker in pass coverage.

Colts run defense versus Chargers run offense: I will go with the Chargers. The Chargers have the best running back in the league. However, he is very inconsistent. The Colts are just a year off from having one of the worst run defenses in NFL history. This is closer than it appears, however. Sanders has been great in run defense, and LaDanian Tomlinson did nothing last week besides score a touchdown and show his awesome running sideways skills.

My Homer Prediction
Colts 24 Chargers 7: Peyton Manning will have three touchdown passes, all to Marvin Harrison. LaDanian Tomlinson will have 78 yards and a touchdown run, but Phillip Rivers will throw three interceptions and lose a fumble. Joseph Addai and Reggie Wayne will each lose a fumble as well.

Some other pro-Colts tidbits

~Tony Dungy may step down. Again. This happens every year. I was sure that last year was his last year. At the beginning of this year, I knew it was his last year. Now that I am looking it in the eye, it's sad. He's the biggest coach in this city since Slick Leonard. It would be sad if the Colts lost a legend like that. However, I could see him take an advisory role in the front office. Jim Caldwell would most likely be his successor, but don't count out Peyton Manning if player-coaches is allowed like it is in the NBA. He's already the offensive coordinator. I would love to see Peyton running practice and taking snaps at the same time. Bill Cowher and Pete Carroll would also be looked at. If those happen, I will be disgruntled until they led the Colts to a Super Bowl.

~TJ Rushing and Tim Jennings have been the only players to miss practice this week due to an injury (Bob Sanders does not practice on Thursday). For the most of the year, the injury list has been a novelette. Now it's a returner who ate a bad hot dog and a nickelback who has had a concussion for a long time. It feels like the first week of the year. Knock on wood that this continues for the remainder of the postseason, and all of the Colts will be healthy enough to lift the Lombardi Trophy in Glendale.

~The Colts have 17 rookies on the roster and the IR, 12 on defense. I guess the draft and free agency don't equal winning, huh?

~Bob Sanders won Defensive Player of the Year. It's only a matter of time before he is elected Overlord of Indiana. If they do run a ballot for that. He's winning, and he's got my vote.

~This could be the last game in the RCA Dome, and more importantly, the last time fans will be able to leave through the real doors (not the revolving doors Bob Sanders slams) and be thrown out almost to the railing. Good times. Good, good times.

~The Colts are not the only team playing this weekend. The Giants are playing the Cowboys, where the three days of vacation with Jessica Simpson and Jason Witten (Mr. Third Wheel!) will surely affect the way Tony Romo throws a football. The Packers and Seahawks are playing in the *Yawn, falls asleep* Bowl. The Jaguars and Patriots are playing in the Teams That Annoy Me Bowl.

Remember, tune into the Colts-Chargers game at 1:00 PM Sunday on CBS, being broadcast by Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorf. Also, do not forget: Bob Sanders pities Mr. T.

~