Wednesday, May 21, 2008

News Flash: Journalists Are Sissies

When Indianapolis was awarded the Super Bowl, I expected to here a lot about the weather and the "hick town" image. I didn't expect it to be this bad.

Indianapolis is a northern city (that for some reason is in the AFC South?) where it is cold and snowy throughout the entire winter. A lot of people don't mind the weather up north. It is nice sometimes when there is actually snow at Christmas, or leaving parties late at night require you to wear a coat. However, the fan and media reaction outside of Indiana has shown me what the rest of America is. Sissies.

The average temperature in February in Indianapolis is below freezing. It can be really cold. It gets icy, and I have gotten a few bruises on my ass over the years. Of course, the fans and media are acting like Indiana is located in Antarctica, not the United States.

Gene Wojciechowski wrote an article about how disappointed he was in the owners' awarding of the Super Bowl to Indianapolis. Apparently, Wojisacowski forgot that he works in Connecticut, where I believe it is in fact colder than Indianapolis. He is carrying on like a five-year-old girl about how cold it will be and how he will have to wear a coat and all that crap. Seriously, Wojciblablaski, act like a man.

In other business at the league meetings, NFL owners voted to play the 2012
Super Bowl in Indianapolis, beating out Glendale, Ariz., and Houston."

Indianapolis? You mean, the Indianapolis in Indiana? The place where the
low was 26 degrees with a trace of snow on Super Bowl Sunday this year?

I don't get it. Playing in a Super Bowl is supposed to be a reward, not
a reason to visit your local North Face outlet. And attending a Super Bowl as a
fan is supposed to be the experience of a lifetime, a chance to break out
multiple bottles of SPF 30.

The only things you'll break out in Indy are
space heaters.

So I guess you are saying playing in the Super Bowl is only a reward if it is nice weather? It was a punishment for Jerome Bettis to go to Detroit and get his Super Bowl ring? It was a punishment for Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith to go to Miami during a monsoon and be the first black head coaches to coach in a Super Bowl? Wow, Wojihavenoballski. Stop acting like a prissy little girl and realize that the game is what matters. The game will be played inside if there is bad weather.

I've got nothing against Indianapolis. It's a lovely place to hold car races, a
Final Four, even an NBA All-Star Game every few decades or so. Plus, you can
never go wrong at that downtown Steak 'n Shake.

Gene: You are supposed to patronize us before you insult our city, not after. You apparently do have something against Indiana and the north. You act like you will be going to the pits of hell in 2012, not a nice city that has success with big events. I do have to agree with you about the downtown Steak 'n Shake, though. That place is awesome after games.

And according to The Indianapolis Star, the city's Super Bowl organizing
committee has received $25 million in pledges to build, among other things, an
east-side neighborhood athletic facility, which will be used by the AFC and NFC
champions during the week and then given to a city high school.

newspaper also reported that as part of the bid, the committee will provide each
of the 32 NFL owners with "personal concierges" during Super Bowl week. That
makes sense. The concierges will help arrange private dinner reservations,
choose the proper evening parka and forage for firewood.

I would have
voted for New Orleans. I would have voted for Glendale. For San Diego. For
Mexico City. I would have voted for anyplace where you can't buy a snowblower.

Instead, we got Indianapolis. Congratulations.

Here's hoping for
an NFL labor strike in 2011.

1) That first paragraph makes no sense there in the article. Is it a bad thing that people donated money to help rebuild a bad neighborhood and help a very poor community? I don't get it.

2) Parka? Firewood? Indianapolis is, in fact, in the 21st century where you are. Not the 18th when you were born, Wojichexmixski.

3) Mexico City? There is a 95% chance you will be kidnapped there. Gene, you would rather be kidnapped by Mexican bandits than stay a week in a cold-weather city? Go ahead. I'm sure not too many people will miss your senile ramblings on

4) You are hoping for a labor strike so you don't have to go to Indianapolis. Are you freakin' kidding me? Your job is covering the NFL! You would rather be out of a job than go to Indianapolis? This collumn was so laughably bad, I'm not sure whether to be pissed that you say I live in a city where it is better to not have a job than to come here or to laugh at your inability to make a quality article.

I'm a doctor, you know. I'll send you a prescription for two testicles, and you can get that filled out at any time you want. Before February 2012 will work best.

Here's a big F U, to you, Gene Wojimadoucheski.

1 comment:

Dan said...

Amen brother. Seriously, if you don't like cold weather, don't f-ing come! While we are all here in Indy, partying our asses off, you can be at some resort somewhere paying 12 bucks for a bud light watching it on tv. If I see him here I'll kick him so hard in his new balls he'll wish he staid in Connecticut